password found!

Gals,

I lost teh password. I still don;t remember it but then my browser does!

So one good day I will land with a hush hush post :)

Where am I?

Last somedays I have been having weird thoughts.
I feel Im old, yes I'm : Fact of life. Worst is I feel I will die :s Another fact of life. But I just dont want to think about it.
Nothings helping the thought is there whenever it wants to...

I dont want to die.. I'm not scared of death - but I have started liking life since I have been married and I just dont want to die. Instead I want to rewind life 7 years back been married to my hubby then and enjoy life!

I want to lose weight..15 Kgs- straight!

Something I can do??

Precious baby...

My baby is mashAllah a very cute and sweet one. Doesnt cry much.

One of the habits I have been forcing her into is making her sleep in her crib, which she has started resisting alot.


I want her to be disciplined and develop good sleeping habits. Tried letting her cry but I cant see her this way!


Besides all over inetrnet they say let her cry.. I think I wont be able to do it. I dont want her to have this impression that world is an insecure place and Mama and Baba wont be there when needed...


Shes only a baby. I was 25 and a single tear in my eye would rock my mom's world... How can I be so cruel to my lil baby. All she wants is this attention from mom and to be around her all the time. Isn't it what I wish for too :s


So I guess I will just let her feel comfortable even if she wants to be in my arms, I will take her..After all this is what I wanted form my mom. Why deprive her...


I know it wont be long when she will be all on her own!

The baby mama

As my baby gets 3 week old yesterday, I have this feeling that time's flying and before I even notice, I will have to let her go off to live a life of her own.
Hasnt even been a month and it feels like she's been a part of my life from the very beginning!

With my mom here, I'm getting the best out of it. She's here not only for my emotional support but helping me with the baby the way I want it. She does all the household, hold the baby till late so that I can get few hour sleep and the best is I can talk and fight and argue with her.. I feel like Im a baby myslef and she feels it's the lil me that shes carrying instead of my daughter..

Time flies, true!

Yesterday, while coming back home after grocery, a line punched my heart hard... I was talking to hubby about the good old days. I said :" life will never be the same na!?" I dont know what words I was expecting to come as reply but the blunt reply was " Yes, it will never be the same so stop expecting it to be!"

Eversince, I have been married, I have been madly in love with my hubby. I have never had enough of him.. although he's always around, I'm left over with a craving for more of him. I have experienced being a baby with him and to tell you the truth, it isn't easy letting the inner baby go off...

A quick blog update

I wnated to blog, but the lil one keeps me occupied!
Finally today I have manghed to cheat her and get some time to blog.
And now, I dont have anything to write about!
Life is moving fast, very fast I must say and that's all I have to say :P

Friends...

Nomatter how friendly Im in real life, I sometimes had the feel of being alone.
In my student life I was always surrounded by friends, more relying on them than my own family! And some of you know well what I mean :)

I started blogging when I felt I was getting all lonely 3/4 years back. And Luckily eversince I have found some very good, although virtual friends. Some great piece of advise and some words taht lifted my mood and kicked my soul to come back to life.

So heres a BIG thanks to all my friends who have been a great part of my life. Thanks for sharing, being my support and being around. Thanks for making my belive true of making this a world a better place by just being a support!
I'm sure life's gonna be a great journey with all you around!

After baby...

I am blessed with a baby girl a week back. It was a c-section and the baby was delivered safely.
This post is not about what I wnet through when in labour or when I was operated with my eyes wide open, rolling around the room unable to move and thinking what would be going on with me.

It's about how I feel afterwards.

It's an amazing feeling to have a lil creature in ypour arms at the same time I feel more lonely. I can shed tears on everything. I feel like noone understands me and all that I went through.
I know all women give birth whether through natural birth or ceserean, For me it left a torturous memory of being seen by so many nurses and doctors. I don't know if anyone understands it...

Giving birth is a torturous procedure for me followed by a pleasant surprise. I feel so possesive about the baby.. every look at her gives me a feeling of joy and then when Im alone I cannot stop shedding tears! Why is it so, I myself cannot understand it.

I have this belly with scars, may be which will never heal. The pain that I wnet through after being operated, felt like I was lying in my grave unable to move my body. The pain I still feel while moving sometimes feel like dragging my dead corpse... The dark skin patches on my body, the weight gain... all feel so tortuorous.

My purpose is not to whine here about giving birth I want to know what exactly does a man go through while a female is expecting? I really feel like knowing how it feels to them. When we become the ugly hippo after bearing birth and they posses the kid being the proud father..

Does any guy understand how it feels...

I feel like life will never be the same again...