A prayer for friends

I wish I could express how I feel when I read the blog of Skz or Beaurcrats wife or E's mama but I know words cannot do justice to what they go through every day of life…
I wish I had a magic wand and I could make there lives happy.

One thing I would say is hold on… I know so easy to say. But dude, Allah listens. Trusts me. When we believe in Him we also believe that He listens, we need to have faith in Him and ask him. And it's no big art.

When we believe in Him don’t we believe in Him watching upon us? Being close to us? And most of all do we not believe that He can give us…
But for some reasons, that human mind cannot judge and human eye cannot see, He doesn't grant us all our wishes.
You know it's so hard to believe but I do pray for each of you. Every time I read your blog, my heart weeps and I ask Allah to give you guys peace before you stop believing in the power of Dua.

Been there done that.

And I know how it feels. I still cannot go back to namaz the way I used to. Everytime I read Quran my eyes are flowing…
And no, no you know Im not a fanatic, who's preaching … Just one dua that made me content:

" Hasbi Allah hi la ilaha ilah huwa aleyhi tawaqaltu. Subhan Allah he arsh-el-azeem"

Which means that Allah will suffice me, no god but Allah, I have relied on Him. All praise is for Allah who is the lord of great throne.

May you find peace and blessings in your life. Amen!

I wish Pink!!!

So far the best keep secret on my blog has been about my pregnancy. Although I told few of the blogging buddies but still, it wasn't disclosed.

Now that the time has flew and I'm counting days to hold the little one (and go through the labour pain! It's scary:P) I thought of letting the girls know about it.

So yes, I will be a mom in few days. (Gulp!) I just don’t believe it! Seems like life has moved pretty fast for me! I still feel like a baby being pampered and now the roles will have to change.
To tell you the truth, it is not very easy accepting the fact that you will have a baby in your life. Well, may be not always. But in my case, it was not. Life was somewhat you call a smooth ride and I was just too lost with the better half. Never felt any space for some one else.

But it happen. It had to happen! It was an unplanned pregnancy and came to us as a shock! Funny thing was that before we got married, we thought of having a baby after an year of spending time with each other and this thing God listened:)

So here I was holding the second pregnancy test strip in my hand, in utter disbelief (the first one was cursed to be desi made and hence I didn’t trust the result. And believe me would have tried third but hubby bought me only two:P)
We least expected the two lines on the strip!

I had mixed feelings could not just believe how it happened :P LOL! But either all those tests carried before were false or this one.
Didn’t sleep whole night, thought of getting abort and cursed my self for being so unthankful to God. Thought of accepting it as Allah's will and asked Him to give me the strength to bear and go through it successfully.

First few months were so busy (call them tough) that I hardly knew I was pregnant! I had long walks with grocery in hands, had to lift weight, packed, unpacked, traveled, again traveled … cut it short, never had a nausea, never a vomit. Alhamdulilah!

Did all shopping for the lil one, have thought about names, have even nick named itJ And guys guess what ? in matter of few days, I will be letting you know about the newbie!
I wish it be pink, an addition to my girls lobby!

Meeting prince charming, the tale

Although most of you know how I met my prince charming, but seems like some have missed my fairy tale.
So here it goes. I know him since 1995, (yes since that time when I hardly even knew what love is). It was just an acquaintance. Nothing much hardly a hello hi, passing by.

Our paths crossed again at an institute where we were preparing for the aptitude test. We had many common friends. I was a popular girl and was always surrounded by loads of friends. He became a better acquaintance there, not a friend as yet.

Later, he went to his professional college, I went to mine. He asked for my contact number from a common friend and called me up on my birthday. Once a year talk was enough. I don’t exactly remember how we became good friends but it was before he decided to leave for USA for his further studies that we met on his birthday and exchanged gifts. I got "my best friend's wedding" CD and gave him a fountain pen.

The actual friendship flourished through internet, on MSN messenger. There was no love before. It all evolved online:)

I being the sensitive one had so much to whine about and he being a good listener was always around. Then one fine day, he actually proposed !!!

I never had imagined, it would come true. To tell you the truth for me it was like so may other guys who had asked me to marry them and I never took them seriously!
He visited the city, we met and I was too shy, not the usual me, just posing confident.

He wanted to get engaged but his family didn't agree. So he went back to complete his studies. We used to talk every weekend for hours. Endless chat sessions.. I was scared to lose him. I feared that his family wont agree and we will have to go our ways.

Long story short, he came back after completing his studies. It was January 5th 2005 that we met (January 5th 2006 was when we got engaged)
Although, we had a tough time after our engagement and I was not very willing to marry but it happened!

He took a strong stand and fought whatever came, tackling me on other hand. I believe I have given him a very tough time too! I had soem differences and was scared to marry him. Unfortunately, it was too late for me to realise and fortunately he didnt let go off me.

Next January (2007) we walked down the aisle!

And I so so so truly love him for everything he has done for me! Hence the happily ever after, alhamdullilah and MashAllah!

A scratch from the past

All my life I dreamt of having a twin sister. I always wanted one, even if not twin.

My mom used to say that I wasn't her daughter. I got exchanged with some Sudani/Somali's baby in the hospital because I was dark and hence I always wished meeting my Sudnai mom and my twin sister, which never came true. This beleif was so staunch that people often used to laugh at me.

I spend years thinking of them and finally came out of it and realised that my mom was really my mom and just cause I got burnt/over cooked while being baked in the oven didn't mean I was Sudani/Somali.

I know it was so rude of her to tell me that:( But it's OK now. I know if I have a daughter and she's white, I dont need to tell her that she belongs to some european family:P

The girls lobby

For a very long time I have thought about writing something only about girls. How we feel, what mistakes we do and what we go through in different phases of life.

I have lived a great life in Pakistan and abroad and have been through the emotional roller coaster through out.

There is so much to write about. I wish instead of listening to fairy tales and dreaming of our prince charming we were educated to face what life has to offer us.
The readers who are here have been with me for a long time and must be knowing at least a little about me.

So lets start this new journey through this blog. Feel free to ask me anything about my life and I would love to share how I went through it.