Baby feelings, the insecurities

My last post was about my pregnancy news. I just thought of letting know the fears that I have and that I had.


First thing first, I didn't want to have a baby in Karachi. Leave alone, the why? :)


Second, had not even thought of having an unplanned baby, but it was accepted?


Third, the feeling of how life will change was just too hard to swallow. It might sound mean to you, cause it sounded mean to me. But I want to let you know how it feels when you yourself go through the experience. It doesn’t always come as a pleasant surprise and takes time for acceptance. May be that's why God gives 9 whole months to prepare you mentally and physically!


Life after baby changes completely. To others, its just a bundle of joy to play with, parents know the real show.
No, no I don’t want to sound bad. It's altogether great. Just the feel to have your own baby. I want the insecurities that a girl goes through, be described.

So as I said, my life was (Alhamdulilah is still) a fairy tale. Met my prince charming and fled away in the world of happiness and contentment (again Alhamdulilah and MashAllah) We used to hang out, eat, talk and talk and talk and roam around. Watching movies on our laptop was another thing to do when nothing else.


The first thing that hit me after I accepted the fact was will he still love me the same?? Will our life change after baby? I used to feel the attention being diverted, attention that I always craved for from my loved one. I felt even I wont be able to take care of him the way I did. (and yes, it happened many a times in late pregnancy that I couldn’t wake up to bid him bye in the morning and though he had no complaints, but I felt the changes already happening)


It was a lil hard to give up our freedom. Roaming around till late night, going for movies… You know the carefree life as shown in movies, read in fairy tales!
I know sooner or later it had to happen, it comes with the package. And oh, how much I love babies, but having my own baby….How many times I had thought about it!

A lot many, before marriage. After marriage my life turned out to be pretty different than I thought married life would be! And I just wanted the two of us. I cannot bear anyone who would take him away from me.


Yes, pretty mean, but truth is when you fall in love you don’t really care about anyone! It happened to me. I'm still mean when it comes to us. I can't at times imagine how he would cuddle up with the baby!
I know times going to teach me that, it surely will. And although they say babies bond married couples stronger, I have no idea about it!


So you see it doesn’t always feel as welcoming as you think it would!