The worst memory...

Down the memory lane, I have this memory that I wish I oculd erase form my mind... A sin that I did in my childhood and so hope that Allah knows and understand and will forgive. InshaAllah.
So the story is I was a student of fifth standard, 9 and a half years old when it hapened.

What happened was pretty natural to happen with girls. We go through a lot of emotional ups and down and need support. Since I had no sister, I was looking forward to my mom to have that support.

Unfortunately, I didnt get it! infact I was bashed and treated like it was some sin that I did. I was told not to inform anyone about it. All effort was made to make me feel like I was gross and that it was something rare that happened to me.

At school, we use dto have this zero period for Quran every morning after assembly where we read Quran. I was so upset with all teh happenings and used to think everyone's going to hate me if they come to know about this dark secret of mine, that despite of mom telling me not to touch Quran in that period, I did.

I was scared of being an object of fun and hatred! And I had no expectations to be loved. So I kept on doing it for I think till 8th standard!!!!
And sometimes, now when this memory comes back to me, it gives me a very guilty feeling.
That's probably the worst I have done in life! I hope Allah understands and forgives my sin.

Moral of teh story: Never leave your daughter alone in times when she needs support. And never make fun of anything that's is not in one's hand.