One mistake that I have seen so many married girls doing is involoving their parents in their relationship with their husband.
Guys do that too. But I have seen girls walking to the parents place and crying their heart out about any xyz has happened. It not only makes it sound bad to parents but also makes the guys impression bad infront of the IL's.
When we want not to involve our inlaws in what ever is going between us, we should also stop making issues of small things unless it's really big (hitting, abusing...) Doing so, maintains respect of the partner infront of the inlaws and then once married, we should grow up to tackle our own problems.
The best is to keep them at such pace that they respect you and your partner and incase, you are a parent, never support your kid in ruining her life! Always guide her with the best you can. Making her understand that yes, you are there to understand, but its only the two of them (the coule) that can sought out what has gone wrong so they should sit and talk about it! No one else can help you solve a problem that's between you and your partner. Off course friends are there to share and give advises, but be wise, dont make fun of yourself by going to the wrong friend!
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
A common issue!
Posted by The Lil fairy & her angel friends at 1:38 PM
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5 Comments:
i agree.i also have heard people say that we tell our parents because who else can we talk to.i guess people are sometime coward.they cant tackle themselves and their problems.and the easiest way is to spill the guts to your family.wrong move.i remember when i called my parents in the middle of one my fights(i know silly me)my mom asked me point blank.why are you calling us to tell things.improve your self.dont call us.
ugh.bitter words but kind message.
hmm I know!
I know people who say that's my reltaionship with my mom! Im so close taht I tell her evrything! Evrything ??huh?
LOL
Even how the hubby, incase cannot afford to have something girls whine about it. While, sometimes teh poor chap is doing more than he can!
Anyways, we need to raise our kids such that they solve their problems on their own instead of being skool kids coming home with a set of problems.
i think you can involve a parent if he/she is the only one involve from both sides. for example i will always go to my mom if i had an issue with my husband, so is my husband, he always goes to my mom if we are having issues. she is like a common friend, which has the best interest in heart for both of us. she can clam us down, talk us into not taking any worst decisions. i think as a parent its our duty to be there for our children if they r in difficult situation and not leave them to deal it on thier own. They might not know how to deal it with, and take wrong actions.
I dont think involvoing parents is a good idea. Thank God we havent done it. We have been through quite a lot, but ALlah ka shukar hai our parents never got an inkling of it.
@good gal: I think your case is more like that of a friend tahn an MIL. LOL
Still I feel a mother shouldnt know evrything sometimes for the sake of respect!
@ibteda: han, same here. Never did it. Sometimes she even asks if Im ok or if I have any problems and I just say hmm choti moti batain chalti rehti hain..koi kahs bat nahin.
My hubby's a jan to listen to my woes and I love sharing it with him only. After all noone else but he can help me over come them.So why make a show!
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